OMG ITS BEEN FOREVER SINCE I WROTE ON HERE >_<

WELL HELLO! :]
ummmmmmm
I've been extremely behind in school
i really need to step things up
and study my butt off

i learn a lot each day about life
people who we think know us the most
actually don't ha ha
its funny how people think
they know who we are
when no one does
i mean we cant understand
how people think
some people don't even know themselves
so i don't think people can argue
with people and say they are a certain way
because everyone sees things differently
we are all unique in our own ways

and we can not understand others actions completely
since we do not know what is going on in their mind


i also think in high school
it is extremely hard to trust others
since we are all changing so much
some days i trust everyone like im kindergarten
other days i hate the world
i know its not right
but im trying to change that
i cant do it on my own either

maybe i should read the bible more
about love i wonder how God can love everyone
even though we are all so unworthy
evil childreeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnn



yeaaaaaaaaaaah boyyyyyyyy!!!!1
<3 GRARO

:]

well now im trying not care as much for some things
umm
i know that ill probally never get over some things
but ill try to use them as memories to learn from
Maybe im just too sensitive
and i know i complain about life
HUman beings love to complain about everything
we complain that our lives are too boring and that our lives are to complex
when things are set out in front of you in a perfect safe path
we complain that its to boring and nothing amazing happens
but when we go on a dangerous path we complain that it is too hard
we never are satisfied with out lives

When we find someone to fall for
we automaticaly think it is love it may be the case
but usually its just love
and love is really difficult too
it could be our perfect souldmate in front of us but
not the right time to be with them
or it could be someone who isnt right for us in the long run
but they are there at the right time

our hearts dont always act right either
maybe thats why the heart is on the left side
We always wish that we could know how things turn out
but if we did im sure we would be extremly bored
People change the future everyday
because peoples minds are always changing
our spirit may not change
but we are always growing in many ways

GR!

i am very angry
lol
i hate ppl who steal fones
:[
cux now i wont get a fone
wahh
anyways
how is everyone
blehhhhhhhhhh sorry for complaining
i need to get stronger
:P
ughh
I WANNA SHOOT PPL haha
>_<
grrrrrrrrr

I HATE being IGNORED lol

not like for every situation
but like if i talk to someone
i hate when the ignore me
like on aim and stuff
makes me so mad
like when anyone does that to me
or if someone acts super nice to me
and then the next day like doesnt talk to me
its like wtf
haha
sorry i was kinda anoyyed right now
cux ppl keep ignoring me when i try to tlk to them
so how is everyone?
well i hate skool but its okay
i gots to go through it
hmmm
didnt write in here for a while
and ooo i need to write in my diary too
lets see
im very confused on a lot of things
and i want to try chicken and waffles one day :]

UPDATE ON LIFE HA

Well life never goes the way you planned.
people change.
and some people you never thought could get sick do get sick.
like my mommy and daddy i say i hate them a lot but honestly i dont
i really do love them.
well
people just have to live each day to the fullest
which i am trying to do <3

HAVING FUN :]

my summer is very funny
lol
ive been hanging out with cool buddies
:]
some days were bad but o wells.
you cant have good days all the time
but overall my summer has been awesome i think
lol
i need to hang out with more ppl
harvest crusade was awesome haha
:]and yet even there i looked for hot guys
sigh lol
oooooo and a couple weeks ago
i went to this church thing and a pastor i guess idk
and then saw my problems
and said i have many temptations especially boys >_<
lol and i needa stay away from boys
and i have a friendly character that lets me make friends easily
and i have an evangilism spirit
and i like to venture
and im free spirited
and a lot more stuff
oh and that i only belong to God
and i have a great pain in my heart
so i try to fill it with things of this world
but then he said only God can fill it and that God will fill it :]
interesting huh
:]

WELL LEts SEE

Hahah
im going to laugh at everything now
haha
lol
lets see
i started to build a wall around me again
hey i dont trust people
:]
i used to trust ppl all the fuken time
but they let me down all the time
so whatever
i just wont trust people.
lol
well yeah. and i love twilight series,pretty little liars,high school bites, and anne rice books. i get lost in my own little world. i feel like im in the book i love it. lol
but yeah i hate people. :]
i dont trust them, they can all do whatever the fuk they want with their lives
and ill act like i do or dont care who knows.
and im going to join the marines as soon as i can
:]

hmm?

NOW im going to take time to think to myself muhaha
about like everything
yeaaaaaah
baby boo
<33
:]
well lets seeee i thinkkk
i want to joing the army marines or navy yeah
:]

ily jacque and cilla <3

im at my sissuhs house
jacque
wid the my sis precilla
well lately ive been tired of ppl
messingwid my feelings
like i dont want to be hurt anymore
so im going to try to not be in a rrelationship
for a while
i still hab feelings for hims<3
but im tired of gettingplayed wid

NEW ME

OKAy
so now im going to try to be more positive
and basically even if im sad ill act super happy
:]
and
im going to just try to end up being happy
hopefully i can

I know

I know that we cant go back to the way things were
at least not at this moment
one day you will realize the big mistake you made
by losing me from your side
you should of held me tight and never let go
maybe hopefully you'll have me by your side again
until that day comes i hope you suffer
I dont want you to be happy with anyone else
I want you to wake up one day and realize
Damn, she was the one whyd i let her go
and come searching far and wide for me
till that day comes ill be right here waiting
I know no one else can make me feel the way you do
but ill act like they do
just until the day you come running back
some day youll realize i was the one for you
i hope that day is soon <3

idk why im writting this lol

I know that life isnt a fairytale but i keep dreaming
I should wake up and see reality but i cant
I live in my own little world
I really shouldnt
because i try my best not to get hurt
I try not to open my self up to anyone completely
but its easy to with someone
i want my life to be a fairytale
but i know it cant be
because in reality life is crazy
people keep fighting crying dying and hurting eachother
but people also keep laughing smiling and falling in love
Its not as simple as a fairytale
in life we have to try to make things work
Love doesnt conquer all
life gets in the way of that

i really truly want this
i wish i had someone to love to hold and to care for me
to spend the whole day with
if only this wish would come true

GAHH!!!

I wish i knew how to stop my heart
i wish i could tell it to stop beating

i wish it didnt hurt to breathe
i wish i didnt need you here

my summer

i decided to take a picture of something each day
oh ive been hanging out at someomes house a lot lol
umm
i have tutoring
and i have cheer
oh and i plann to party
hmm
oh so yeah hang out with me
<3
umm and yeah this will be an awesome summer
and lots of ppl better come on my birthday
:]]

SEE I do use this awesome sexy thing:]

yeah i learned life isnt always the way you planned
the people you expected to always be in your life
come and go. and people you expected to leave return
life is full of surprises.

and trust isnt something that comes easily
you shouldnt fall in love someone because you trust them
but trust them because you love them
oh and trust can dissapear in a second

lets see
oh and guys arent worth crying over
but lost friendship is
:]

<33

wrote this like last week

i miss you
i miss your smile ur face
i miss you

the way you held me tight
how i felt safe in your arms
like nothing in this world could ever hurt me

YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD NEVER LEAVE
YOU SAID YOU WOULD LOVE ME FOREVER
but
i guess i was wrong
I was STUPID to believe in YOU
BUT

i miss you
i miss your smile your face
i need you

The way you once needed me
when you loved me
you couldnt breath without me
now you cant breath when im around

but now you dont want me near you
you wish i was gone

i miss you
i miss your smile your face
i love you
everything ABOUT YOU!!!
even when you hurt me
even though you dont love me anymore
I MISS YOU

I DONT CARE

Honestly i dont care what people think about me
im tired of stupid people who judge me for no reason
dont judge me if u dont know me
its so stupid and pointless
and if you dont like me dont go around telling everyone
just tell me straight up
and dont tell people stupid stuff if you dont know everything


anyways felt like saying that

so how is everyone? i dont think people really read my blogs
and i dont get everything on here
i dont know how to use everything
but i try
lol
<3

sucks

i have been officially dumped
it would of been fine
if we didnt yell at eachother and say stupid stuff
i feel stupid
i said stuff i didnt mean


im a jerk too
but he was really mean

i guess forever isnt as long as it used to be
:[

mean

you hurt me
you make me cry
you dont care
you think its dumb that im sad
your the meaniest person i've ever met
but i love you


you hurt me the most in this whole world
but i only want you
why do you hurt me
you used to be
the kindest person
you cared you loved me
you would never let me go
but nowyou hurt me you make me cry
you dont care
you think its dumb that im sad
your the meaniest person ive ever met
but i love you
i only want you
please be the person i once knew
i miss being happy
cux lately im always sad
it hurts
stop giving me this pain
i love you
you hurt me
you make me cry you dont care
you think its dumb that im sad
your the meaniest person i've ever met
but i love you
dont let me go your the only one
who can make me happy
please just go back to making me happy

want i wrote this a long time ago lol

please dont put me through this pain
i cant handle it anymore
i want to shoutbut every time i do no one hears me
and i feel trapped and all alone
i wonder if the clouds are sad maybe thats why it rains
i wish i could be heard like the rain
so i wouldnt get hurt anymore
i wish someone would just hear me
i dont want to be invisible
i want someone to love me :[

GUESS WHAT

NOel JUST MADE A BLOGGER :]
YEAH
<3
ill try to write in this a lot
:]